Thursday, October 25, 2012

Husband or Turd?

My job keeps me crazy busy in the spring and early summer and gives me some down time in the fall and winter.  This is great except I live with a husband who retired at 55 after 35+ years at the same job.  He's now 61 and pretty well settled into the retired life.  He loves it and deserves it.  But.....it makes for alot of togetherness during the winter when the weather is cold and snowy here.  We are both outdoorsy types but not so much the winter sport type.  I keep busy with my horses (which he is not an active part of other than feeding when I'm gone and stacking hay) artwork, cooking  and living life as a domestic goddess during my off time.  He, on the other hand doesn't do much in the winter. 

 Here's my trouble.  I had this brainy idea to begin some creative writing this year while I'm off,  something I've always dinked around with.  But to pay more attention to it and see what came of it.  The other day I was clicking away, my computer sits in a corner of a big dining room, and everytime he'd come near I'd panic and x out like I was doing something wrong!  And that's how it felt, sort of wrong in some self-concious, guilty way.
Errrrggh.  So I figured I'd just come clean and tell him that I'm experimenting with some creative writing.  I didn't go so far as to say the word "Blog" because I'm feeling even more self conscious about that.  His response first response was, of course, "huh?"  Then "oh that sounds like something S---- would be doing." 

S---- was a friend who we always poked a little bit of fun at (ok more than a little bit) because she was so into self improvement she was a cliche.  She wrote poetry, attended women's retreats where they did Tai Chi and drum circles and looked at themselves in all their special places with hand mirrors,  ad nausem.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for getting in touch with oneself, she was just too damn serious about it.

So comparing my little venture into creative writing to HER didn't sit real well with me.  Instead of laughing and agreeing and letting it go I had to go and get worked up for about five minutes.  Then I was over it.  That was yesterday morning and I'm still paying for my five minutes of drama by suffering the Silent Treatment.  Ok well he's not completely silent but very subdued.

I'm already feeling pretty self-indulgent about writing anything in a blog. I mean really, seriously how could anybody be interested in reading about what I do?   And then having the gall to actively seek out people to read it.  Yikes, who do I think I am?

I know that I don't want to share it with hubby that's for sure. Probably not even friends yet.  My question is, do other women who blog share it with their significant other?  Am I weird for feeling this way?  Am I married to an unsupportive turd?

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